have you ever felt like you couldnt stop your mind from traveling so far left of what you want to feel and think?

about someone you shouldnt want to know about?

well > it sucks.

ohhh, lordy.

my lifes been very hot and cold this month. i've either been like, really happy, or upset.

i had like, 2 or 3 okay days though, so thats good. anyway, this is for me, and for anyone else that reads this [aka no one because i'm like, the last person on earth to have a xanga] so but in case you do,

romans 8:28 " and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to his purpose."

^ God's never dissapointed me so far, in all my [almost] 16 years, so why not trust him now? thats been a thought in my mind for a few days. God's trying to speak to me, i can feel it. i'm just not sure what he's saying. maybe he's teaching me that God's will is above mine. i know this but i dont really ACT on it.  "... and have been called according to his purpose...." so, that means its not up to me. i dont know.

i think i'll start writing a poem/ song on xanga every time i put an entry thing. (its not like anyones going to read it, lol. NO ONE has these anymore. no one!) so, i might as well.

a little more makeup, everyday-

maybe if she's pretty, she'll win him back that way...

with every stroke of mascara, theres a little more hope.

-it runs down her cheeks as she tries to cope.

but still she smiles as she walks the hall,

just thinking of tonight, when her heart will

dont call me your own,

i dont wanna be a season.

you reached for my heart,

only to break it without reason.

the door of my heart remains empty and open,

you left in a hurry- now the latch is broken.

the vacancy sign is lit up once again,

in this cozy heart of mine, thrers only room for one man.

just sleep it off >

just sleep him away.

it will all be better in the morning of day.

you broke me.

...but its okay, just leave the pieces where they lay.

and i'll forgive, i always do. but i'll remember- thats the real you.

maybe if you happened to catch that poem, tell me what you think? i think i'll make it into a song to play at the garage on feb. 17th. maybe? [yes i'm playing there again ] ohhh exciting life.

Romans 10:14  "how can they believe in the one of whome the have not heard?"

dont give up, wait for the next breath to come,

who knows, it might be better this time.

hold on to life, dont let go

it will get better, after the strife.

keep moving, keep going,

wipe the tears from your eyes

let God be your rope

for the mountain you climb.

just a bit further, almost to the finish

the world is no reason to take your own life.